I never thought I would want to write about parenting. Writing is one of those things I do to escape my children. I mean, there is a lot more to me than being a mom! Plus I am not crafty or creative so I have no ability to post cute pictures of what my children have made out of old toilet paper rolls.
But even though I am more than just a mom, nothing in my life is as constant, makes me as crazy, is as important, or is on my mind as much as being a mommy to my two little girls. And I came across this blog article about yelling by Hands Free Mama. http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/05/22/the-important-thing-about-yelling/ I have never read something I have identified with more. I want to enjoy my children but I feel like I am always yelling. I never thought it would be like this. I remember when we just had Lyndsey and she was still a baby. I remember watching some other unnamed mom yell, and scream and get frustrated with her kids for what seemed like silly little things. I told Chris, “I don’t ever want to be like that. I want Lyndsey to always know I love her.” I had beautiful intentions of putting together a family Mission Statement, or something like that, to remind us not to yell or get frustrated or get caught up in what doesn’t matter. But we never did that. And who knows if it would have helped.
And about yelling, to be honest, there is no reasoning with a 2 year old, or a 3 year old. And a 5 year old seems like they should know better than doing about a thousand things that they do. And do you realize how long it takes for children to do anything?! You would think giving them 20 minutes to brush their teeth and put their shoes on, and get out the door would be plenty of time. And how is it possible to spill your milk EVERY SINGLE DAY?! My voice gets louder and louder.
I don’t want to yell, I want to be patient. But I am not. This summer I am doing a book club with the No More Perfect Moms book by Jill Savage.
I did not even want to read this book because I have no delusions that I am attempting to be perfect.
I am looking for the same book my friend Jill Griffin is looking for, the one called “No More Crazy, Angry, Screaming Moms.”
A good friend who has teenagers came over. She saw me interacting with my kids and said, “You know, I stayed at home with all three of my kids, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what we did.”
I can relate because I barely remember what I did yesterday. I survived. I did laundry. I cooked, did dishes, gave bathes, kissed bo-bos, sighed, humphed, facebooked, got mad at Netflix for canceling Dora, and collapsed into the couch when the kids were finally in bed.
But I am at a weird crossroads here. This is my last bit of time when my kids are home exclusively. (And believe me, I have been counting down the days.) In the Fall, Lyndsey will be in Kindergarten all day, and Alyssa will be in preschool 3 days a week. I want to record these last precious months in this blog. I want to actually start thinking of the time as precious, even as they are driving me crazy. I want to remember those innocent little things they do like chasing after I butterfly when I trying to get them into the car.
Maybe the problem isn't my kids. There are a million distractions in my life. I feel like I have been walking on a tightrope and juggling blindfolded. Priorities. I need to figure them out. Some of them are important, some are not. I want to talk about living the kind of life I want to live. Loving God. Loving others. Making lasting memories with my kids. (How is it, that distractions make it seems like there's no time for this?)
So this is what I want to talk about here. And I think my title, Running in the Wind, still works. I think I had been running against the wind though. I need to run in the wind, with the wind. I came up with the title because I want God to be a part of everything I do, every choice I make includes who I am in Christ. So why then am I yelling all the time? My life needs to be simplified and prioritized. My life has been on a tightrope, how can I run in the wind on a tightrope. But God offers us more, more than even running with Him, with Him we can soar! I know the offer is out there, the abundant life God has promised, I want to take Him up on it.
My goal this summer: not to lose 15 pounds, not too train for another marathon, not even to have more time to myself. My goal, is to simplify, prioritize; love God, love others, be my kids’ fun and loving mommy, be my husband’s adoring wife ❤
Maybe I can even step out of my comfort zone and make my kids’ day by helping the make a craft out of a toilet paper roll.